Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Having a Kingdom Attitude 12

One of the most stressful situations of life is when a couple goes through a divorce. While there are some who leave their marriage with an attitude of "good riddance", most leave with great stress, almost equal to a death in the family. Stress is not confined to the individual alone, the shock waves of divorce can devastate parents, family and friends, and especially the children. Yet, every hundreds of couple each day choose to walk down this path - a path of great stress.

Well, Jesus talks about marriage and divorce in Matthew 5:31-32 & Matthew 19:1-9. As we read these verses it is clear that Jesus is opposed to divorce, why? Because just like life and Scripture, Jesus will always chose the side of marriage over divorce. In Jesus' days, the religious leaders treated divorce as common as drinking water, but Jesus taught marriage to be an institution ordained by God, and its purpose was to last till death separates one spouse from the other (19:6). As we look at these passages we see three things about divorce and marriage. First, divorce was never God's plan for man (Matt. 19:4-6). God's plan was for husband and wife to live in a relationship guided by Him and fueled by their self-denial and self-giving to each other. Second, divorce is always sinful for man (Matt. 19:7-8). There has not been one divorce where sin was not the underlying reason for it. Whether, selfishness, adultery, abuse, or neglect...all those reasons point to a sinful heart. Third, divorce is allowed only by God's grace (Matt. 19:9, 1 Cor. 7:12-15). Because of certain sins (sexual immorality & desertion) that severely break the one-union marriage covenant, God does allow divorce & remarriage to be granted. Notice, the exceptions are not reasons to quickly get a divorce, but a Christian is commanded to make every effort to forgive and seek restoration of their marriage. It is when the offending spouse continues to engage in constant, unrepeated behavior in which permission is granted. I would also argue that "unfaithfulness to the marriage covenant" includes sexual and physical abuse in the relationship. Scripture is clear that God expects us to choose life above any moral law.
In closing, let me make five points about marriage & divorce: 1. The church should defend Christian marriage at all cost. 2. Christians should not search Scripture trying to find an "out" for marriage, but rather seek forgiveness and restoration. 3. Divorce should always be the last resort. 4. God hates all divorce; He also hates abusive, manipulative, self-centered, and unholy marriages. 5. Christians should never trivialize marriage or divorce. They should strive to strength marriages as well as minister to those who are going through the grieving and stressful outcome of divorce. Until next time, keep walking close with Christ.